I wonder sometimes why it takes me so long to walk in step with the Spirit instead of doing what I want to do. Though we, as followers of Jesus, are repeatedly commanded to be filled with the Spirit, be surrendered to the Spirit, be led by the Spirit, and to not put out the fire of the Spirit (Rom 8:14; Eph 4:30; 5:18; Gal 5:16-17; 1 Thess 5:19), I just think my agenda is better than His. I think I know the next best step better than the Holy Spirit. I would rather lead than follow in the dance called today. Yesterday was a case in point.
For several days I wanted to walk across the street to share the Gospel with my neighbors. They desperately need Jesus. The entire family was home yesterday and that was MY plan. I had about a two hour block of time and it seemed the perfect time. But the Holy Spirit told me to go for a jog. “But I want to go share the Gospel with my neighbors,” I pleaded. I tested the Spirit to make sure it was the Holy Spirit and not my fears (1 John 4:1-3). So I went for a jog. Now time to muster the courage to go share with my neighbors. Nope. The Holy Spirit said to go for a prayer walk. What about my neighbors??? I tested the Spirit again, and He confirmed to go for a prayer walk through our large neighborhood.
During the prayer walk I cried out to God for the salvation of many neighbors. Toward the very end of the prayer walk I also asked Him to please give me an opportunity to share the Gospel with whom He wanted to share instead of with whom I wanted to share. As I prayed that prayer, a man, who had been jogging, stopped 20 yards before me. I had never seen him before in our neighborhood. He walked toward me and we began an amazing conversation which led to him inviting me into his home to share the Gospel with his entire family. There was no prayer of repentance with them yesterday, but a huge cry of repentance for me.
“Lord, forgive me for telling You how to run Your universe and my world. I have grieved your Holy Spirit and put out of the fire of the Holy Spirit too often. I have believed my agenda and my will are better than Yours. Forgive me for my stinking pride, agenda, and self-will. Jesus bore it all on Calvary. Thank You for cleansing me and picking me up again seeking full-surrender to the Sovereign Holy Spirit today. You lead today in this dance called today. May the Lord Jesus be glorified in it. Oh, by the way, Lord, my across the street neighbors still desperately need You! In the Name of Jesus and for His glory. Amen.”